Answers Found.

Since a teenager; I have had a bad bad image of my body; I have always
been overweight anywhere from 25-75 pounds more than by 5 foot body
frame should be. I would like to weigh 120-130 range unfortunately I
am no where near it. I am aware I must lose weight - per doctors
orders ( I have an enlarged heart and have very high blood pressure.)
We have a membership to the YMCA and I try to use it on my 2 days off
when ever I can. I like swimming and seem to lose weight when I do. I
take Emily with me as she loves the water as much as I. We will go
swimming for 2 hours at a time; often having races with her beating me
each time with glee.

I can remember my Mother was always dieting as a child; but it never
occured to her that while I should have healthy food to grow strong;
it was not neccessarly low fat food I was given. She was from an era
that the term low fat did not exist.

I have a slow metabolism - i don’t process food fast enough to get rid
of the calories and hence fat developes. Fluids do not get disposed
very well from my liver and kidneys - per my Dr I can have surgery to
clean out my pipes or take cranberry juice pills or drink cranberry
juice to activate kiver and kidneys - I take the pills and drink the
juice. I dont want surgery if I don’t have to.

I’ts kind of weird I will drink and drink but until I take the
cranberry juice (It makes sure the fluids are released in my body for
processing) I dont feel quenched.

I look at my body; I look nothing how I want to look - thin and full
of energy - It is very easy to sink into depression and grab the candy
bar as a way of feeling better for a fleeting moment then become angry
once you realize what you have done.

I read the news stories how McDonalds is adding sugar to the water of
their lettuce as a way to make there salads taste better. I look at
how many calories a meal at Applebees is - most restaurants don’t have
even have that type of in on their menus.

I have given up drinking anything but water or sugarless tea in an
effort to avoid calories in drink.

I watch what I eat avoid salty, fried foods and try to eat only fresh
food or food baked or broiled.